Creep-Radiohead (cover by Daniela Andrade)

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye,
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry;

You float like a feather,
In a beautiful world,
I wish I was special,
You're so very special;

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here;
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control,
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul;

I want you to notice,
When I'm not around,
You're so very special,
I wish I was special;
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again,
She's running,
She runs runs runs runs...
Runs...

Whatever makes you happy,
Whatever you want,
You're so very special,
I wish I was special;

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here,

I don't belong here...

I tried to draw a not-so-chibi girl. The body proportions are hard to establish, even if chibis are relatively disproportionate in nature. Anyway, I swerved from using watercolor and opted to use colored pencils this time. The clothes, I intentionally left uncolored...just because. 

*Sigh*

I want to have shorter hair but it doesn't fit me. 

I never really liked coffee--until recently. Being a night owl for the past few years, a cup (sometimes, even two) of coffee would serve as my best companion in perfecting the art of cramming (or procrastinating). In the Philippines, the Café Culture is not as intense as what other countries have. I think we'd rather enjoy a full meal in a restaurant than have ourselves stationed in a glass-walled coffee shop-- but occasionally, we tend to do just that. Some of my friends hang in these places to study, while my parents go there to have tete`-a-tete´. 

I tried doing my thesis in a known place last Friday and believe me, it's far from being effective. Here are some of the legitimate reasons why I said so:

1) There's no wifi, unless you pay or you're a member.

2) The crowd. (I don't even need to explain that...anti-social syndromes accelerating..)

3) Small tables make me fidgety. I had to ask the guard to add another table beside mine so that all of my things, and my friend's, can be accommodated.

4) Once you ran out of coffee, it's either you suck it up and continue doing whatever your chore is or give your seat to other people waiting-- to buy another one is out of the question. My stomach's acidity level fluctuates abnormally these past few days and to have another cup will be torture.

5) Hours inside an arctic room makes my bones weaker than they already are. And it was stupid of me to wear light clothes that day. What was I thinking?

6) Being with a friend--and a close one, mind you-- is as ineffective as watching your favorite movie while doing math, studying wise (or, I'm just a chatterbox, regardless where I'm at or what I'm doing...and did I just use math for my analogy?).

This resentment resolved itself into making me a hermit (in my room) once again. Don't get me wrong. I would also join the bandwagon sometime in the future, but not with the sweet, sweet company of my thesis. (I was even contemplating on availing their planner in exchange with my ulcerical tendencies). For now, I'm contented here in my room, enjoying a cup of Kopiko brown coffee. 

Nothing beats the comfort of your, err, rolling chair.

Yesterday, as a part of our Science, Technology and Society (STS) class, a guest speaker lectured about the process of creative writing in the modern context of computer age. It was a nice lecture because as lullabies some early morning classes tend to be, the comedic antics and lively audience interaction made the whole experience more than bearable-- fun, to be exact. The speaker, a known writer and part of the literature faculty, engaged  us in the art of creative writing, reiterating that writing is a combination of right techniques and raw emotions. One should write something that only he can write, something that he knows very well. This does not pertain to something originating from the unknown, but something given with a fresh take or perspective. The right techniques don't exclusively deal with grammar, spelling, sentence construction and the like. Things like chronologies, form, emotional power, ability to take the reader into a journey and having that certain 'X' factor are equally important things to consider. He told us that with today's technological advancements, writing shouldn't be much of a problem because we could easily encode,edit or even delete our works. However, there's still some mystique and beauty in using the traditional method of ink on paper. That would altogether be awesome if we are to write amid beautiful scenery, to bask under the sun and to unwind under the pristine greeneries. Well, whichever works. The thing is, in reality, however fictitious our writings aspire to be, a certain degree of pent-up personal emotions are conveyed in a manner only we can do.

Still,I find writing a very daunting task, partly because I'm not a broad reader and because my imaginations come mainly from reading Japanese comics (yes, I'm implicitly saying that I'm more of a visual person). The range of my vocabulary still lies on an average level and my storytelling capabilities follow a rather curvy or perhaps, a 'randomly scribbled' path-- both verbally and in written terms. However, after listening to the talk, I realized that I can still improve. To intensify this newly-formed resolution, I'll now try to write more.

On an unrelated note, I've unearthed these straw dolls from one of our cabinets. These, I remember, were brought from one of our then customers who specialized in export-quality handicrafts. A doll, if I'm not mistaken, costed 50 bucks--more or less. My favorite is the tall one with the grass skirt.I thought these were thrown out!Well fortunately, they were just stashed out and kept hidden for years.

True to what she said, I have a very laidback personality. The simpler things are, the better. Why complicate things when most of the time, they can be utterly frustrating. I also agree that sometimes people around me seem to underestimate the things that I can do-- blame it on the very few moments when I really exert effort because of sheer passion. Hey, I may be simple-minded at times but I can be smart too.C:....Further evaluation on that matter aside, I'm bordering between being an introvert and an extrovert. I have a very few friends who I can really testify as people I'm really comfortable with. If I annoy you (in a childish and funny way) rest assured that I treat you as a real friend. When people talk to me, I promise them that I'll keep whatever secrets they've shared with me. I suffered a great backlash when one small incident (way back in first year highschool) got blown out of proportion. It was not a secret per se but my uber laidback (and then somewhat insensitive) personality got the best of me. After that I treat every said detail as fragile as it could be. 

Reading that I'm an artist (thanks dear but I'm eons from being that.C:), watercolor seems to fit me well. As impatient as I am, I'm comfortable with this medium because the colors easily blends with each other in a much faster rate (ahem oil paint). I have a lot of things to learn since I'm still an amateur.

"A responsible team player; and best of all, a loyal friend.".....This made me so kilig. If anything, I want to be remembered as such. I'm really into investing when it comes to relationships-- nothing trivial and shallow. Constantly, I've been thriving to become the best person that I can be. I'd rather be beautiful inside than be someone who has all the material possessions but is still unhappy/sad. I want people to remember me with smiles on their faces. Overall, I want to be a good person. A few years from now when I read this post again, maybe it can save me from being a futile and atrocious adult that I'd be (hopefully not!). 

Good, happy vibes~

 How I wished I was able to talk to some of my favorite teachers but alas, they were having a meeting when we stopped by. Bummer.